Australia Walkabout Wildlife Park

Today, we (Vincent, Desmond, Mom/Grandma, and I) went to the Australia Walkabout Wildlife Park. Located 30 minutes north of our house, it is a wildlife sanctuary/zoo of sorts. We had a great time - there were very few people there, and we were able to wander around and interact with a lot of the animals. Some of the animals roamed freely around the Wildlife Park, while others were in more "zoo-like" enclosures. Here is a list of animals we saw:

• Kangaroos (Grey and Red and many other species)
• Wallabies
• Emus
• Bilby
• Koalas
• Cockatoos
• Rainbow Lorikeets
• various small lizards
• Pythons
• Flying Foxs
• Wombat
• Tasmanian Devil
• Quolls
• Dingos
• and Goats, Bunnies, and Chickens

Both boys - and Grandma - had a great time. We were able to pet the kangaroos and wallabies. We learned how to throw a boomerang. And we ate our morning tea and lunch in the presence of kangaroos, wallabies, emus, and a very friendly cockatoo.

Here are some photos of our adventure... (click on a photo for a larger view)

Rainbow Lorikeet

There were at least 3 emus that were roaming around.

Those birds are big!

The view of the bushland from the Wildlife Park.

The kangaroos and wallabies at their morning feeding.

Kangaroos are sooooo soft!

The local cockatoo.

Desmond shows us where cockatoo is - high in the tree!

The Tasmanian Devil

One of the pythons.

Vincent and the wombat eye each other. The wombat was much larger than we expected!

This is Matilda the kangaroo.

She was very friendly!

And cute!

Desmond bonds with the kangaroo.

The koalas were active and very cute. 

Vincent shows us how he can jump like a kangaroo!

Grandma and Vincent throw a boomerang.

I got in on the action too!

Zoe the kangaroo wanted to share Vincent's lunch!

A Good Behavior Pin

Like most three-year-olds, Vincent is discovering the extremes in his emotions. He is also learning that his behavior - both good and bad - has consequences. And, he is slowly realizing that he can control his behavior.

In the past, when he would misbehave - what we call having "bad behavior" (we have always been careful to label the behavior - not Vincent - as "bad") - the consequence would be a time-out in his bedroom. We chose this method of discipline because it gave both him and us a chance to calm down. Usually, we would have to carry him - kicking and screaming and crying - into his bedroom, set him down, close the door and then hold the door shut so that he couldn't open it. Then, after a minute or so, we would go into his room, have him sit down and look at us and explain to him what he did wrong. If his transgression required an apology, we would lead him back out into the living room to deliver apologetic remarks as needed. Although this bad behavior didn't happen very often, it did occur in waves. Some days would be full of time-outs, and then a week would go by without any issues.

After Desmond was born, it became increasingly difficult to follow through with this manner of discipline. Often, especially if I was home alone with the boys, I couldn't leave Desmond alone to carry Vincent into his room and hold his door shut. The whole process became more and more difficult and less and less effective.

In the days and early weeks following our move to Australia, Vincent's behavior was - for the most part - quite good. I think he was curious about being in a new place and excited to be with his dad again. He was also unsure of exactly where the boundaries were in this new life, in a new house, in a new city, in a new country. But as we began to settle into a daily routine, Vincent began to act out. And our recourse? Time-outs that were usually marked by extremely loud screaming on Vincent's part, lots of tears (both his and mine), and endless frustration.

It is worth noting here that Vincent's demeanor is, for the most part, quite even keeled. He is a polite, curious boy who loves his little brother (he often refers to Desmond as his "best friend" or "best" for short - as in: "Desmond, you're my best"). He has a great imagination, happily plays by himself, and can entertain Desmond. But, he knows how to push my buttons, often tests the boundaries, and can be as stubborn and irrational as any three-year-old. And the smallest thing can set him off. Sometimes, it is because I have pushed him too hard to do something or have done something that antagonizes him. But frequently, he can loose his patience or temper at the silliest, most insignificant thing.

All of these time-outs were starting to wear on Paul and me - and I'm sure that Vincent was tired of them as well. I felt that they were no longer an effective deterrent for bad behavior. We tried taking away his toys and not allowing him to watch videos. But that was not really effective either. We needed something that was simple to enforce and something that we could follow through with consistency. And we needed Vincent to be on-board with it.

My mom suggested some sort of system that would reward good behavior while also serving as a deterrent for bad behavior. Our solution? The good/bad behavior pin system.

I took an old bib and drew a smiley face (=good behavior) on one side and a sad face (=bad behavior) on the other side. Then we got 20 safety pins and pinned them to the edge of the bib. Whenever Vincent had bad behavior, he we would pin a pin to the sad face side. When he had good behavior, we would place a pin on the happy face side. When all 20 pins were on the bib, the pins could move sides depending on Vincent's behavior. So, for example, if he had 15 good behavior pins and 5 bad behavior pins and then had bad behavior, he could "loose" a good behavior pin to the bad side of the bib. When he got all 20 pins on the good behavior side, he would get a prize: a gigantic T-Rex toy from Dinosaur Train (Boris Tyrannosaurus) - something he helped pick out from the toy section at Target. We set the reward out on the dresser in our bedroom - somewhere were Vincent could see it and be reminded that his good behavior would be rewarded.

This method of behavior enforcement had several benefits - it was easy to be consistent, we didn't have to have emotional time-outs (all we had to say was, "That's a bad behavior pin" and Vincent would know what that meant), and it was a visual aid for Vincent to track his behavior.

Since implementing this way of tracking Vincent's behavior, we have seen an overall general improvement in his actions. His angry outbursts are much shorter and less dramatic (i.e., less loud and piercing screams). He seems to be able to regain control of his behavior and now responds to comments like, "Please get your behavior under control." He has also started removing himself from a situation when we tell him he is having bad behavior. For example, he will leave the room, go into his room, close his door, calm himself down, and then come back to us and apologize for his behavior. The first time it happened (he came to me and said, "Mama, I'm sorry I yelled at you" and then gave me a hug and a kiss) I almost fell off my chair - but quickly recovered, hugged him, and told him that I appreciated the apology.

It has taken 18 days, but Vincent finally got all 20 good behavior pins this morning. He was overjoyed to receive his new dinosaur and spent nearly the entire day playing with it. I think he understood that this was a direct result of having repeated good behavior - and having more good behavior than bad. Our plan going forward is to continue this method of tracking his behavior - already today he has one good behavior pin and one bad behavior pin. We will give him another, smaller toy when he again reaches 20 good behavior pins. And I anticipate that it will take less than 18 days this time. After that, we will continue this method, but the final rewards will get smaller.

I know that all kids go through phases where they have good behavior and bad behavior. But this method we now have in place to track his behavior provides both a strong visual for Vincent and gives us a consistent, reliable, calm way of marking his bad behavior and rewarding his good behavior. And - at least for us and at least for now - it is working.

Sleep

I hope you will indulge this quick trip down self-pity lane...


I need sleep. Ok, to be fair, both Paul and I need sleep. But since this is my blog, this is about me. I'm not talking about an afternoon nap or a sleep-in in the morning. I need a good, solid night of 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Desmond (9.5 months) is not sleeping well at night or, for that matter, napping very well during the day. And this has been going on for months (since before we left the US). And by not sleeping well, I mean that he is waking up - or at least crying out in his sleep - on average, 4-5 times a night. Some nights it is every 45-60 minutes. Last night, he needed soothing a couple of times before completely waking himself up at 2am - and was up for close to 2 hours. The worst is around 10pm when we have just drifted off to sleep. It is also really hard when I get him back to sleep, crawl back into bed, get warm and comfy - only to have him wake up again 10 minutes later.

Desmond started out a relatively good sleeper - not sleeping completely through the night, but only waking up 2 times a night to nurse. But then, as with Vincent, he developed into a light sleeper. It seems that he wakes up or needs soothing at the end of each 45-minute sleep cycle.

It always seems to be something - ear infection, teeth, upset and burpy tummy, mastery of new gross motor skills, a rapidly growing brain. Or an international move.

Yes, I know we could "sleep train" him. We could give him the opportunity to learn to soothe himself by letting him cry a bit. But we are worried he might wake up Vincent. And I genuinely believe that he still needs to nurse at night. And, in many ways, it is just easier to get up and nurse him or rock him than it is to lie in bed and listen to him cry.

I am fortunate that I have a partner to help with this. But, more often than not, it is me that Desmond wants. It is nice to know that I am needed...but this is getting to be a bit extreme.

I know that there are lots of other parents who have gone through this or are going through it now. We went through it (for months and months and months and months) with Vincent. I know it is a phase. I know it will end. I know Desmond will learn to sleep through the night and that by the time he is a teenager we will be pulling him out of bed at noon. But right now that doesn't matter.


I now understand why sleep-deprivation is such an effective form or torture. The only benefit of sleep deprivation (from my vantage point) is that it made the jet lag much less severe.


Fortunately, this pattern of interrupted sleep doesn't seem to make Desmond cranky during the day. Most days, he is happy, curious, laid back. And very cute and charming.

I write all of this not because I am looking for sympathy or empathy. But rather just as a way to vent. And as a possible explanation if I don't return e-mails quickly or seem a bit absent-minded when you talk to me or am completely irrational or am maybe a bit less patient with you than I should be - or if I completely bite your head off.

Just be a bit patient with me. I'm tired.

Winter Flowers

Even thought winter is in full swing here in the Sydney area, there are some beautiful flowers in full bloom. Here are some photos I took of some of the flowering plants in our neighborhood.

There are towering poinsettia plants in several yards around our neighborhood.

Bushes of different varieties of mums are also popular.

Not sure what these are, but they come in various colors: white, pink, and purple.

The stunning Birds of Paradise are in many front gardens in our neighborhood.

And, yes, we also have dandelions here - even in winter!

Winter in Sydney

Since the Winter Solstice occurred earlier this week, I thought it might be time for a post about what winter is like in Sydney - at least what it is like this year!

Winter in Sydney is very mild - especially when compared to winter in Minnesota! In fact, Vincent frequently asks me which season we are in. When I tell him winter, he looks at me and says, "No, Mama. This isn't winter. There is no snow on the ground!"

Parts of New South Wales do get snow. It will occasionally snow in the Blue Mountains west of Sydney. And there are plenty of ski fields in the aptly named Snowy Mountains in southern New South Wales. The local television stations frequently iclude snow reports in their broadcasts on Friday. But you have to get a long way from the ocean and be at a high elevation to see snow. Many Australians have never seen it snow - including my mother-in-law. Although she has seen snow on the ground, she has never seen it fall from the sky (not even on her trips to visit us in Minnesota).

The position of the city as a harbor (or harbour) city helps to moderate the climate. Weather patterns tend to stick around for several days - so if it starts to rain, we get rain for several days. But if it is mild and sunny, then we can count on blue skies for many days in a row.

In general, winter here is cool, damp, and windy, with highs in the low 50s during the day. When the rain moves in, it seems like it rains and rains and rains and rains for days and days on end. This cool dampness is exacerbated by the fact that many houses (like the house we are currently renting) are not built to withstand the chilly temperatures - little/no insulation, no central heating, single pane windows, etc. Some newer houses have what is know as "ducted reverse-cycle air conditioning," which is sort of like central heating. But most homes have a collection of various space heaters of different shapes, sizes, and purposes. We have four in our house - three oil heaters (two large and one small) and one oscillating radiant heater.

But winter days in Sydney can also be warm and sunny. The temperatures over the last week have been in the upper 60s with clear blue skies and a bright, warm sun. This is great weather for going to the park, drying clothes outside (I have done at least one load of washing per day over the last seven days), playing at the beach, etc. In fact, a warm winter day here in Sydney feels a lot like a cool summer day in Minnesota.

No matter what the weather is like during the day, the nights here are very cool. This morning we woke up and it was in the high 30s! We sleep with flannel sheets and lots of warm blankets and comforters/duvets (Australians call them doonas) on our beds. And occasionally we do get a bit of frost. But even on the coldest days, I rarely need to bundle up more than wearing a fleece jacket, the occasional scarf and hat, and a lightweight pair of gloves - and on most days, I can get by with a couple lightweight layers and no jacket. By Midwestern standards, the coldest day here feels like a brisk late fall day in Iowa or Minnesota.

Frost on the ground at the park near our house.

When we lived in Sydney several years ago, I do not remember seeing the leaves on the trees change color like they do in the Northern US in the fall (maybe it was because we were experiencing a crippling drought?). But around our neighborhood this winter, I have seen several beautiful trees with brightly colored leaves.

One of the things I miss most about not living in the Midwestern United States is the four distinct seasons. Here, we get hot (usually dry) summer and cool (usually damp) winter. But I have to admit that on warm winter days - like those we have experienced over the past week - I do not miss the sub-zero wind chills so common to Minnesota winters!

Dual citizenship

Yesterday, when we collected our mail from the little post box in front of our house after a morning out running errands, we had a postcard stating that there was a package waiting for us at our local post office that required a signature. This could only mean one thing - the boys' citizenship paperwork had been approved! So after lunch and nap, we drove up to the post office to collect the envelope. Our hunch was correct - it was an envelope from the citizenship office in Tasmania. Vincent was very excited as we opened up the envelope just outside the post office. I pulled out the certificate to show him. However, I don't think he was all that impressed by the slip of paper - I think he was hoping that it meant that he got a train or a dinosaur or something!

"Now you and Desmond are Australians," I told him. "You are just like daddy."

That made him happy - he always loves to be compared to his dad. "Yay!" He grinned from ear to ear and went jumping and skipping down the sidewalk.

A lady walking towards us looked at him and smiled. "Must have been something exciting from the post office," she said.

"Their citizenship paperwork was just approved," I replied.

She smiled. "Congratulations! Yay!"

I sort of felt like we should wave a mini-Australian flag or sing the national anthem - or at least "Waltzing Matilda."

The boys qualified for Australian citizenship by decent because their dad was an Australian citizen at the time of their births. We could have applied for their Australian citizenship at any time after their birth. We probably would have done so eventually while living in the US, but the move happened so quickly that it was just easier to take care of it once we arrived in Sydney.

Both Paul and I were quite surprised at the speed at which this process happened. After finally assembling all the paperwork that we needed (birth certificates, proof of Paul's citizenship, proof of address, and the application form), I put the envelope in the mail on Tuesday. The date on the citizenship certificates was Thursday - 2 days after I mailed it. And it had to go all the way to Tasmania to be processed.

So, what does this mean for our boys? Well, they now have dual citizenship with the US and Australia. Once we get them Australian passports, it will make travelling in and out of either country much easier. They are now eligible for Medicare (the universal healthcare system in place in Australia...a future blog post) as well as any other benefits afforded to citizens of Australia. And they will be required to vote when they reach voting age (voting in Australia is compulsory...I think that will be another good topic for a future blog post).

According to both US and Australian laws, dual citizenship is legal in both countries (prior to 2002, if an Australian citizen became a citizen of another country, they automatically lost their Australian citizenship). So the boys will be able to retain both citizenships for life. 

Desmond's new sweater

Before we decided to move back to Sydney, I started working on a sweater for Desmond. It is a pretty straightforward pattern by Elizabeth Smith at The Brown Stitch - a little cardigan with raglan sleeves and a truck on the back. I had made the same one for the baby of a friend of ours a few months earlier, so I knew that it would be cute and functional.

Then we decided to move, Paul left for Sydney, and I suddenly ran out of time to knit. I was about three-quarters of the way through the pattern.

Now that we have settled in a bit in Sydney, I have finally had a chance to finish this sweater! I was a little worried that it might not fit Desmond any more (he is kind of a big and chunky guy), but it fits perfectly and is the ideal sweater for the cool Sydney winter days we have been experiencing lately.